I went up to York this week for my confirmation of enrolment. It went really well and they kindly told me that they were going to pass me on the strength of the work I’d submitted at the start of the meeting.
Despite waking up filled with dread, I actually really enjoyed it. It’s nice having a captive audience to discuss my research with who understand it and have read it and they gave me some great feedback and constructive criticism.
Key Feedback Points
– They like my writing style
– I need to more carefully and thoroughly explain the link between selfies and Raunch Culture – ie that I am seeing them as artefacts of Raunch Culture
– Perhaps use more modesty in the claims I am making about the different methodologies I am using as I am doing little bits of multiple methods but the interviews are my key research
– Use the focus group as a pilot for interviews and don’t be afraid to state that that is what I am doing
– Need to ensure that the inclusion of mental health in my autoethnography is understood as being to give context, not the main focus of the research which is Raunch Culture.
Feedback from R
Ellie has a substantial piece of work (as is necessary for confirmation) and demionstrates that she has thought through her plans for submission via a detailed timetable. What is clear from Ellie’s chapter is that she is an accomplished writer. There is still room for improvement but this is my ﬁrst chance to really read a large piece of work from her.
l have a number of queries and comments:
1) Through the text there is a shift to italics and back again. This is clearly to suggest two different voices. However at times I think there are more voices than just two! Ellie needs to be more confident and assertive consistently within her work. Most of time she is authoritative and confident but then self-doubt seems to come across. I like the idea of having a personal and scholarly voice and merging them but making them clearly differentwith italics. At the moment the scholarly voice slides into the personal and then there is another dimension of the personal too
2) There are a lot of large quotes through the chapter. At times I liked it and Ellie does engage with them but I’m not convinced that so many are required.
3) lmages -many images are dropped into the text. They need to be better justiﬁed for inclusion. The images in the appendix I would like to see in the text.
4) Check out: https://theconversationcom/is-social-media-turning- people-into-narcissists-66573
5) I like the role of selfies and how Ellie has made a real effort to work them into the thesis. l’m still struggling to be completely convinced as to their relevance to raunch culture. This needs to be clarified further
6) Chapter ordering —- maybe look at the ordering of the chapter content. it seems to ramble a bit – perhaps more signposting could help with this?
Overall Ellie has come a long way and she is moulding an exciting project that will have something original to contribute to the field.